CHURCHIANITY, CHURCHIANICS, THE CHURCHED AND CHURCH – Part 3

CHURCHIANICS
Way back in the late 80s and early 90s, I was heavily involved with an older church and for what I knew then, I enjoyed every moment of it. I wasn’t particularly interested in what the Minister had to say, because a lot of stuff was spoken above my small head and I sometimes was hard of hearing, especially when sitting with other young men. I was more enraptured by my puberty and the feelings of intermingling with the opposite sex who were a centre piece or focal point of lubricious analysis. Although this was my main preoccupation, I do clearly remember the processes and procedures that consumed the church life and the Sunday services as well. On Sunday mornings, you had the procession led by the choir and then followed by the Ministers, while a glorious hymn was being sung by all. I usually sat beside the organ so I could feel the low notes blasting through the pipes and resonating within my bowels. I loved that moment; it was like one was caught up into the heavens for a moment. It was however a feeling of musical grandeur that enveloped me as I saw old men with all grayed hairs displaying ancient and modern tunes with pure delight, but all sounding so harmonious that I wished it wouldn’t stop. But I assure you, there was no substance to such reverie.

Then of course we moved into other parts of the church service that was full of religious swagger and pompous display of ecclesiastical mannerisms. Even the way the Ministers spoke, with a kind of slur and finesse that I could not associate with the natural speaking pattern of these men. This was even more pronounced in Pentecostal churches I attended. The use of high sounding rhetoric was a hallmark of good preachment. There was so much gymnastics involved in the process of delivering a simple message that by the time one sits through all that drama, you realize that you are full of entertaining memories than revealing convictions. It will take an extra effort of the believer to cut through the noise and hear the words of the King and feel the Masters heart beat. Sometimes, you are suddenly jerked back from a deep meditation by a delirious neighbor when he screams “preach preacher!” Who can blame anyone? Carefully crafted words, with poetic embellishments cannot but leave you enamored by such skillful usage of words. Again it takes much inner quietness to scan through these beauties to see what the good Lord is saying to one for that holy day.

Churchianics is the mechanisms through which many churches engage their members and keep them coming back. Because people are very transient in their faith and have itchy ears, churches these days must produce what is popular and sell that commodity for value. These days, it is also very fashionable to create an atmosphere that welcomes certain classes of people in society. Air-conditioned environments, with high-line sound systems, and a well manicured interior that is aesthetically pleasing. So much is spent in constructing amazing structures that compete with corporate building in major cities. I saw a church building somewhere in the US that is all glass, and at the main entrance a statue of the Man of God welcomes you to the presence of God. Some of these structures can pass for a stadium and the stage is crafted in such a way that the Man of God is the center of attraction. In fact, today, these phenomena are being studied at doctoral level; on how churches grow and by what mechanism they achieve this. Some have even proposed theories of church growth and things that churches can do that will be suicidal for its mission.

I was part of a church that spoke about building a new structure for about ten years. They argued in committees for such a long time on what the final structure should look like, that inflation increased the original cost almost three times. Finally, after agreeing, it took almost 5 years to put up the structure with so much donations and pledges going into the building that I shuddered. I was thinking to myself how much more we would have achieved in these 15 years if we had concentrated on building the kind of temples God lives in instead of the type that one earthquake, which respects no building, can topple in a second. Don’t get me wrong, putting up a structure is important, but can in no way be a substitute for what’s most important, building men. Every time I encounter the scripture in Ephesians 4: 12 – 16, I wonder what exactly the church on the earth is doing? The succeeding verse, 17 gives a strong warning: “This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind…” But it seems to me that this is exactly what the church is doing, walking in the futility of her mind. This is by no means a judgment, but a mere observation as so much contradiction lies between the pattern of scriptures and the practice of this day. In fact, Christ whom we all profess puts it this way in Matthew 8: 20 – “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” But we these days are interested in a place to lay our holes and nests of wonder, than to go the course of the Master who wandered in search of His lost Sheep.

This is the age of Churchianics, where we are preoccupied on how to make a name for the Church than to make a Church worthy of His name. We put so much effort in the unnecessary and leave out what the Master called “the weightier matters of the law.” I am yet to see where a church would raise funds for the poor the way it does for putting up its great structures. Yet James 1: 27 puts it this way: “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” What exactly are we then practicing? As I attend church every Sunday, I get very unsatisfied with what I see and I have begun to ask many questions on the patter that our King requires of us. I am always mindful of what the Angel told the Laodicean Church in Revelations 3: 14-18. Jesus was not talking to unbelievers, but was sending a message to the Church. This church felt they were rich and had everything, but unknowingly they were naked before God. So we comfortably sit in out great structures and feel safe from intrusion, but before the eyes with whom we have to do, are we covered?

I was particularly moved by a Pastor in the city of Lagos who one day, after his congregation had successfully put up an amazing structure, told them that he was tired of coming to church with nicely dressed people; people who drive sweet rides, with a compact family, living in exclusive areas and mingling with the socially erect. He eventually told them that he wasn’t going to be preaching in the church building anymore, another pastor could take care of that. He started holding services in a location full of social miscreants and waifs and bringing so many of them to the knowledge of Christ and catering for their needs. Please tell me what location you think Christ would prefer to attend His service on that Sunday? Churchianics has overturned our spiritual values that we give more weight to the things that are taken lightly in the sight of God and we play down those things with an eternal value. We strive to build and then dedicate such structures with pomp and romp as though we could present a building to God as a reasonable sacrifice.

Like that Pastor, I am tired of the conveniences of our churches. This has bred so much lethargy and apathy in our spiritual experience and we are neither hot nor cold. We have given the world so much impetus to rate and berate the standards of God, while we steal worldly concepts and enact them within the Church. Even the way we manage our finances, are based on the worlds way of keeping records, that we even give people cards to record what they contribute, as though they were tax documents to present before you enjoy any social service (like burying the dead or getting married). Very sad indeed…

In the next part, I will look at those who I call “The Churched”. There are increasing numbers of such people, who are followers of a Church rather than followers of The Christ.

HOW MUCH A SENATOR EARNS IN NIGERIA

Sometime ago I wrote something on money politics in Nigeria. It can be accessed at http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=24419185782 I was very concerned at the way money was the single determinant of the ascension to any political position rather than a commitment to public service. This way, the rich or those who had access to the rich found their way into the corridors of power to perpetuate the interest of their pockets, or their masters as the case may be. I did note that when a country’s future or destiny is placed into the hands of such men, what results is a rogue economy and a collapse of national values.

Today, I came across the information below and I felt I should share this in the open for those who may not have the details already. This is to further strengthen the point that with these mouth watering packages, almost anyone will die to have access to such opportunities. So wonder not when huge malpractices are going on during elections, when politicians are sleeping in the bush for diabolical enhancement and emerging with talismans to conjure their victories, and be not confounded either when before our very eyes, they hijack the system and make it a money making spindle. The President is asking them to sacrifice only 20% of their salaries and they concluded that it was only 10% they could part with. This is extremely laughable. What is even more disturbing is the rate at which these ‘leaders’ engage in under the table transfers and cutting deals that undermine transparency and accountability.

Someone mentioned that a friend, working for one of the senators, was sent to pick up and envelop containing $500,000 for a six senators as reward for their ‘hard work’. Yet, these are the same people who feel they are justified to mediate in the Niger-Delta crisis and tell those young militants what to do. I will not argue about what they earn if the can tell me how many credible bills they have passed this year alone six months after. If they could tell me how effective they are back at their constituencies and how many times they meet for meetings to hear out the people who voted them in, perhaps I will not be discussing this. They collect constituency allowance of 200%. If they could show me credible projects they have executed with such monies, then I may be appeased as a citizen that their earnings are justified.

Anyways, I am not here to complain, but to just provide my readers to this information and let you judge for yourself where exactly our democracy is taking us. Below is a breakdown of the monies earned by a Senator

2,484,245.50 Basic Salary (BS)
1,242,122.70 Hardship Allowance @ 50% of BS
4,968,509.00 Consistuency allowance @ 200% of BS
1,242,122.70 Newspaper allowance @ 50%
621,061.37 Wardrobe allowance @ 25%
248,424.55 Recess Allowance @ 10%
4,968,509.00 Accommodation @ 200%
828,081.83 Utilities @ 30%
1,863,184.12 Domestic Staff @ 75%
828,081.83 Entertainment @ 30%
621,061.37 Personal Assistance @ 25%
1,863,184.12 Vehicle Maintainance Allowance @ 75%
248,424.55 Leave Allowance @10%

7,452,736.50 Furniture Allowance @ 300% of bs

One off payments

7,452 736.50 Severance grautity @ 300% (Once they get fired)
9,936 982.00 Motor Vehicle Allowance @ 400% of BS (Every Four Years)

Senators Salary per month – N 2 456 647.7

In the US where I live, the annual salary of each senator, as of 2009, is $174,000; the President pro tempore and party leaders receive $193,400. In June 2003, at least 40 of the then-senators were millionaires. In addition to their salaries, senators’ retirement and health benefits are identical to other federal employees, and are fully vested after five years of service.

Now you sit down and work the total, then convert it to Dollars at 148 Naira to a Dollar. You may then get at my point.

Cheers
Reggie 09

CHURCHIANITY, CHURCHIANICS, THE CHURCHED AND CHURCH – Part 2

CHURCHIANITY

Someone may ask what the heck ‘Churchianity’ is, because it doesn’t seem to appear in any dictionary. But without any clarification, you might already begin to comprehend that this is simply referring to the concept of the church, the whole idea and its attendant issues. By Churchianity, I am referring to the institutional church as we have it today with all its religious activities, its forms, its patterns, its hierarchy and structure, as well as its belief system. I will move forward to declare that Churchianity is what Christianity has become after nearly 2000 years of its founding.  It has become highly fragmented by differences in doctrines all emanating from the same book of faith, as well as divided in the procedures of worship. Many are caught up here and are already neck deep into doctrinal and procedural cultures that have replaced the truth of worship and the true essence of fellowship with God.

Churchianity is characterized by legalistic rules, rituals and methods that have masked Christians for so long. It has reduced the message of Christ to a mere doctrinal postulation and dialogue that many are busy studying the letters and picking arguments with others on what is implied in scripture and what is not. It is the allegiance which people pay to the church rather than the cross, the worship of the upper echelon of the ecclesia rather than the Christ, and the adherence to order rather than to His orders. I remember one time in a church I used to belong to, there was a structure or order of service, which helped the allotment of time for everything. However, I became very aware of the fact that this hard-line position on following the order of service is never the ideal, especially when it is clear that God is leading in a different direction.

In that church, after the praise and worship comes announcements and welcoming of one another. But as a worship leader in church, I sometimes knew that after an intense worship experience, people just wanted to stay in that flow and pray out their hearts and appreciate God. But what usually happens is that a Deacon appears and takes the microphone and we feel this sudden drop from a mountain to a valley with such rapid velocity that upsets one. I came to understand from the Scriptures that we enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. But what do we do when we enter into His courts? Just dance and dance and walk out? Of course not!! That is when we stay there and make out petitions known and worship Him in His beauty. That is the only time of the service that is dedicated to God, the rest is addressing us.  But because the order of service must not be interrupted, we have lost our sensitivity. I also visited another church sometime and the worship was so intense and real that you could literally feel the tangible presence of God. After this, we prayed and worship before the Pastor came to deliver his message. But on getting there, people still had prayer on their lips and singing in their heart. He quickly sensed that preaching was futile at such a time when God had flooded the whole place with His presence. He simply dropped the microphone and went back to his seat and fell on His knees. I came out of that service knowing I was in a genuine family meeting with the King of Kings. I was so fulfilled and excited that for many days, I was spiritually high.

But Churchianity has killed the element of sensitivity to the move of God’s Spirit within the church and form and methods have taken over the entire process of genuine worship. Sometimes after the choir sings, you just know that nothing else should be said, even the Pastor will admit it, but because there is an agreed order, form takes precedence. Four periods are most important in any worship service: Worship, Word, Prayer, and Giving. I am one of those who believe that there should be a seamless flow of these periods in any church service and not be interjected by irrelevancies such as welcoming one another, baby dedication, announcements, recognition of first time worshippers, etc . All these can be done at the end of the main service. But what usually occurs is that we spend more time doing everything that has nothing to do with a focus on the Lord, and go in and out of a spiritual experience by introducing unimportant issues. While order itself is a product of a true spiritual experience, we should never for the sake of order sideline the leading of God’s Spirit in churches.

Churchianity is all about upholding the way things are done in our churches, or the traditions that have been passed down from the fathers before. But God is way bigger than any concept of tradition, and can never be held bound by such systems. These are the kinds of issues Jesus had to deal with concerning the Pharisees, yet our church these days are operating in the very same order as the Pharisees operated. In the same vein Churchianity also about promoting the church rather than promoting the Christ. So it is Church over Christ. So in this case we see many churches dispute about the way thing are done in other churches, and boast about how their way is better than others. Some even complain that music in some churches is too worldly and others say complain of old fashioned music. Some take it to another level and complain how other churches pray or conduct the Holy Communion. This all point to the dominance of the spirit of Churchianity in a lot of churches in this age.

Next I will focus on Churchianics. I am going somewhere with all this. Please follow me my reader.

CHURCHIANITY, CHURCHIANICS, THE CHURCHED AND CHURCH – Part 1

As far back as I can remember I have been a church boy. I started out being committed to church life by singing in a children’s choir at age 11 (I sang the bass part… can you just imagine?) at a Methodist Church in Calabar, Nigeria. It sort of laid the foundation for what became my long romance with the concept of church and the mechanisms behind its functioning.  As young as I was, my innocence was characterized by the appreciation of the beauty of the church system, and the intricate complications of its functioning etched deep marks on my tender heart that will last till this day. I loved the spirit people put up, the singing, the preaching, the fellowship, and the strife as well. At least it gave us a story to enhance our communication from time to time.

I even progressed from an orthodox setting to a liberal Pentecostal assembly, where there was more intense recognition of the spiritual essence of man and the active part of his spirit in relating to God. I become more conscious of the scriptures and it meaning as explicated by pastors who were more engaged in the spiritual meaning of the letters and the subtle overtures contained in the holy book as revealed from a higher perspective. The former assembly was one of more designations, form, static routines, programs, and rules, while the latter assembly provided more room for personal expression and a liberal and loose form of doctrinal interpretations. In all, I was well suited to function without complain because I was a church boy and was fully immersed into the Christian ethics and rhetoric.

From that period I have often swung between these two settings which could range from the very extreme to the very moderate and the very prudish to the most relaxed. I sometimes amaze me by how well I fit into these congregations and adopt their philosophies without complaint. It isn’t a lack of self awareness or the presence of ignorance, I just had the capacity to explain away things that weren’t palatable and take on the positives for the sake of peace. I was sure we all knew in part and that as life goes on, we would have a clearer picture of what this is all about. Church was my home, my backing, my comfort, and was my joy. The friends I have made are priceless, the bonds I have formed are irreplaceable, and the opportunities I have enjoyed are innumerable. My life has changed greatly for the better because of my contact with the church, and I do not regret ever being a churched boy.

But I have come to a point where, like the fading mist of the early morning, things are beginning to really clear up and a more defined picture of what things are and ought to be is presenting itself all so rapidly. A lot more questions have arisen in my heart about the whole idea of church and its purpose. Sometime back, it would have been emotionally or spiritually dangerous or suicidal to question the idea of the church, as it was infallible and unquestionable. Whatever dropped from the pulpit was the final say to how your life should be designed and what exactly to make of the complexities of life. And truthfully, I have walked in such a culture for a very long time. In fact, being Born Again brought its own bouts of new allegiance and loyalties that I had to be sworn to in my journey to understanding the will of God for my life. However, the closer I got to the one who is the centre of attraction: God, the more there was a dismantling of my belief system that had been built by the church. I admit that some of it was built by my own interpretation of what the church did and said, but what else could I do when others were doing the same?  I simply went with the flow, and it was good for me at that time and I enjoyed every bit of it.

Today, I am presented with a different challenge of understanding the purpose behind everything.  Because anything without a defined purpose is subject to abuse, I have been engaged in thorough appraisal of what I believe and why I believe what I believe. Things personally discovered are things eternally uncovered. So I have been asking myself what I believe and what informs what I believe. Why have I held on to these things and what is it I am willing to let go of if it has no root in the truth. Part of this in on what the church really stands for and what was God’s intent for the church. I have found myself often trying to defend the church and its activities without recourse to a better understanding of its history and its ordained purpose. Now that things are different with me and how I think, I am writing to expand on the prevailing ideas of church and its role in society. So what is stated by headings below is what I have come to see and understand the church to be.  I will then state what I now understand it should be and how God has designed it to function.

SKIMPOLO: SOME THOUGHTS ON SKIMPY DRESSING

Sometime in 2002, I attended a very good friends wedding. I was very excited about this event because a lot of old friends were going to be attending and it would be some sort of a great reunion of friends and foes alike. Friends to refresh our goings and catch up with old gist, while the foes will be for making amends. I arrived early so as to get a prime spot where I could mingle well. But this was going to be a fateful day and one I will not forget in a hurry. My first female friend arrived and sat by my side and we began talking, but I was first struck not by her smile or her beautiful makeup, or even her natural beauty, but on the construction of her attire, especially around the chest region. I however kept my calm as a cool headed young man and made it an eye-for-eye contact, but the conversation however was not devoid of the constant temptation to deflect my sight a few inches further down her anatomy.

My woes were further compounded when three other ladies joined us on the table and sat directly opposite me. What they wore tore my sight into shreds and a sudden hastiness came over me and I knew I wouldn’t last on that table. It became worse when, due to the exciting conversation we were all having, these ladies were in the habit of projecting downwards when laughing, therefore exposing their fragile protuberances. After I bore this mental challenge for a pretty long time, and being a very raw and blunt speaker, I decided to safely arise from the dire circumstance and proceed to where the air provoked internal peace. So I whispered to my friend beside me that I was leaving, and with light jocularity told her thanks for the great experience.

Fast forward to 2006. I attended a little birthday party of a friend who decided to have it two ways. One during the day for those who could make it and another at night for those who had the time for nocturnal activities. I submit now that I made the humble mistake of choosing to attend the night event. I was amazed at how skimpily over 99 percent of the young ladies were dressed. And more wonderment was to the fact that some of them just landed on the chairs and scattered their bodies and spread their legs without recourse to female etiquette. Confessing, some of their wears were beautifully designed and cute in appearance, however, it was nothing but a picturesque horror for any decent young man or woman. When the dancing began, it was another spectacle entirely. The ladies were simply grinding their barely covered bodies against lads lusting for the flesh of young maidens. And the way their bodies shook, one could tell that there was barely any internal reinforcement underneath these skimpolos.

While I could not leave because the celebrant was my childhood friend who felt my presence was a great honour, I decided to move closer to some other guy friends who I thought were having a great discussion amidst the blaring noise from the music. I was even more disgusted by what was being discussed by these blokes. They were simply ripping apart some girls sitting at the opposite end of the small hall, making fun of their wears and telling themselves who their kill was going to be for the night. One silly guy, who was like the party clown even boldly stated that he was going to take one home to mama, but he knows his mama will drive him from her sight after seeing girl. Hilarious as that sounds, I was greatly disturbed. Not at the statements made by these guys, but for what these damsels were bringing upon themselves. Indeed they may not care because they weren’t hearing what the conversation was, but surely if they did, most of them will either pray to be swallowed up by the ground, or just to evaporate from the occasion.

Over and over again, we see the continuous disappearance of the courtesy of appearance, especially in how ladies these days present themselves at special events. Whille I agree that fashion is a huge business and also a way of self expression, I cannot but wonder what exactly is the underlying thinking for such fad behaviour at these times. Or is there really a thinkling behind it? Could it just be a simple trend that requires no thought on but just a followership, or is it a necessary phase in the growth process of all youths? Whatever it is I think there should be some form of psychoanalytical approach to this matter as laughable as that sounds. Why do young ladies pride themselves in exposing their bodies to the point that you wonder why they even wore anything. Should we blame it on the scam called global warming, or should we simply put it that it is one way to attract or lure the opposite sex?

A lady just told me while writing this that ladies dress for men. It sounds easy to believe, but I have also heard some women say I dress to please myself and not any man. Is this true? Only the ladies can best tell this. But I must emphasize here that men don’t think that way. Men feed their passions from the display of female excesses. While some men may love to see women dressed in skimpy wears, nice hairdos, well manicured nails or fake ones, there is a growing dissonance in the perspective they hold of women. In a time when the image of womanhood is growing more as sex symbols, I cannot but wonder how women are not their own worst enemies. Adverts on bill boards show practically naked women crawling on the floor just to sell a refridgerator, or a bikini dressed lady riding a Yamaha motorbike. What is the link between the two? Nothing. But men will always look to anything that has a woman displaying something crucial to whetting their sexual drive. This is what women have been reduced to in our depraved society and they are not helping matters either.

There is a lot of respect in decency and courtesy. When these ideas are thrown out of the window, then we have nothing but a ‘monkeyfest’ of a society. More and more men are feeling like there’s a women market from where you select and use, then trade old for new at a discounted price. If you can’t buy, simply download illegally or yet, copy and paste. Those are the words with which I can aptly describe the wasting culture which we seem to pick up. When it is now time for these men to settle down, they scramble to look for the most decent of them all, because they know such are the least risky and they probably wouldn’t have a heart attack when their wives hit the road. So in whose court lies the ball, and whose turn is it to serve? All ladies who seem to dance along to a music they have no control over should have a rethink. This system uses and dumps you with no regrets. You either define who you are and what you stand for and stick by it and be known for it, or you will be given what to become and trust me, you have no control over that. But I am glad that there are still exceptional women, who are still very trendy yet very decent. Big ups to them all.

Cheers
Reggie ‘09
(please forgive all errors)

WOMEN: RULES OF ENGAGEMENT – Part 2

The next rule of engagement I would introduce here is something very new. This was inspired in my heart by critical observation of the goings of young men, especially as they battle for relevance in demanding society. It is called the Law of Equation. In mathematics we say an equation is a statement that two expressions are equal. By using an equal sign, it informs that what is on the left side of the sign is of the same numerical value to what is on the right side of the sign. I simply adapt this law to two part of the male life in society: inner expression and outward expression. The inner expressions are those things that flow from the inside of a man. Things such as his speech, his reasoning, his decisions, his choices, and his values are all representative of the internal configuration of a man. The outer expression consists of all a man does to showcase his body. His wears and gears (Baffs like we would say in Nigeria), his machines and his crib. All this make a statement about the taste and preferences of such an individual.

However, the law of equation simple advances the simple principle that whatever in on the outside should equal what is on the inside. If your outer expression spells big things and a touché tang, then it is your place to ensure that the inside is imbued with an equal administration of the beauty. There is nothing as upsetting as a handsome man, with all the bling-bling yet with a barrel like amplitude. With an earring on your ear, better be sure that there’s a hearing to your heart. With a chain on your neck, better be sure that there’s no drain on your head. When flashy men have no substance, then they do not qualify to engage a woman. Women may be attracted by the outer displays, but they are engaged and sustained by the inner replays. This is why my mum told me a long time ago to have some substance on my inside, and that even if I looked like a Gorilla, I will still be attractive to the opposite sex. So guys, make the equation balanced as a rule to engagement.

Dr. Gary Chapman does a great job of breaking down what he calls the five love languages. These languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. It is speculated that all humans understands one of these languages more and respond to a mix of others in varying degrees. Therefore, the next rule of engagement is to understand what the language of love is and to know which the woman responds better to. A while ago some guy told me the only language all women respond to is Physical Touch. While that may hold some truth to it, it is not entirely true as some prefer more that you listen to them or that you spend time with them. Quality time is really a proof of love. One way I know that two people love each other is that they can sit down together and say nothing to themselves for hours, yet stand up feeling fulfilled. No matter what the language of the woman is, you must fully learn how to speak it before you can engage her, for she is like an unending story of varying scenes provoked by the skill and creativity and imagination of the story teller. Some men are stingy with words, while some are stingy with their time or resources. Stinginess is the same as losing your speech in a communication of love. If you can’t give of your resources, it means that you cannot speak the language of giving and so on. The rule is: find her language and learn to speak and perfect it.

The final rule I bring up here is one dear to my heart. I do not know what to call it, but maybe when I am done you will give a name for what I refer to. There is a beautiful story in the good book found in Isaiah 5: 1-2. Though with a sad ending, it carried great meaning for the point I raise here. The owner of the garden, who cultivates it and manures it with great care, and then later does the weeding, does all these with a great expectation that the garden will yield a great harvest. There is thus a natural law set forth that when you plant in good grounds; you reap a good reward for your labour. A woman therefore is like a garden. Whatever you plant is exactly what you will reap from her. This is why God sand that song in the story saying he had invested so much into the vineyard and expected a reward from it. So this rule simply tries to explain that as a man, you must be able be a capable cultivator of a garden. You must be able to see what kind of ground you are standing on, and what kinds of plants will flourish thereon. This way, you will provoke an unprecedented harvest from the woman you cultivate.

Let me apply this to make it easier understood. Siad is a great friend of mine and was in a great relationship for which I introduced the two principals. But after a while I sensed a growing tension in the relationship and later discovered that the lady was already having longer conversation with her Ex. This became of great concern to me and I asked my friend what was the health of their relationship, and he said they were cool but her reactions have been growing cold. Later I found out that my friend was so purpose driven that all he spoke to her about was purposes, plans, and the future decisions they would take. He always wanted to know what her dreams where and how she would work towards them and how he could help her. Sweet ain’t it? But my friend was planting the wrong seeds in the right soil. Yeah she was appreciative of his concerns, but that doesn’t bring out anything from her. She was the kind of woman that didn’t want to over formality ion her relationship, but the informal approach where things were sorted on the basis of friendship. The short story is that he lost her to the other guy, who knew how to provoke the right responses from her. My friend is a wonderful guy, and I had to tell him this way back in 2002 and he got the message. Happily married now, he still gets the message from that time and we joking say to each other: “are you cultivate her?”

A good cultivator must know what kind of soil the woman is and know what exactly to plant there. Some have planted money and reaped a female mammon, while others have planted friendship and reaped an Angel. It is always your choice what you plant, but be sure to make an informed decision what will give you a bountiful harvest from the woman. Women are God’s gift to this world and can be anything you want to be, you just have to be well trained in the art of cultivation. It starts with being able to see the woman beyond her façade and know what she truly carried. Then target her real worth and help her bring forth the loaded virtues she is blessed with. Then she will love you and give you the very best of her and make you drink from the deepest part of her well.

To wrap this, I will humbly submit that everything I have said here is what I practice. God forbid that I say the things I have not seen, tasted, or handled. For I will be a thief and a robber, declaring the things I haven’t been authorized to say. A caveat to my musings is that though these rules are universal, every man’s path is different and you must still find your secret place where your inner conversations and deliberations about these matters are resolved. But I daresay that for any man to engage a woman, there are rules of engagement, and I certainly hope I have added one more device in your toolbox as you explore this wonderful life God has given you. So young man, be clean and pure at all time, let truth be your friend and let your head always lack no oil.

Cheers

Reggie ‘09

WOMEN: RULES OF ENGAGEMENT – Part 1

Now I turn attention to my brothers whom I have ignored in my previous commentaries. If I felt less qualified to write to the female-folk, I am at home talking more now, since something in me resonates with something in my focus audience.  This resonation plays not along the lines of the typical, but on deeper issues we seem to have abandoned for a more worldly perspective to our views on relating with the opposite sex. We men have been so celebrated out of reality that we seem to already be imbued with the inner ability to deal with women right from birth. It may amaze you that a boy child at the terrible-two age may already show signs of masculine megalomania when relating to mummy or some other species of humans. This psychological state of illusionary or delusions of masculine grandeur play out when little boys try to manipulate their way through mummy’s heart. Or sometimes when they begin flexing muscles and bullying even their older sisters, we smile at this and praise their rapid growth. A pastor once said he saw his two year old son squeezing his five year old daughter. He ran to her rescue and corrected the little boy. But when he walked away, he did the victory hand thing saying “yep! That’s my boy!” Silently, we love to see young boys growing up strong and exerting such energies on their environment including a display on their relationships.

An elderly man once told me how his father used to put him in the line of ‘male duty’ (whatever that means). He could never return home to report a case of bullying in his school. His dad will get him ready and stand on the corner of the street to beat up the bullying boy when he passes that way. My dad also had his mum silently encourage him to tolerate no opposition in school, so he grew up with a form of belligerence that defied even bigger buddies in school.  We sort of love it when young men grow up strong, and not just a docile kind of strength, but also the ability to outwardly command attention with the display of such. The reverse is that we tend to call men who do not follow the pattern of the above as women. The one thing a man doesn’t to be called is being referred to as a woman. However, much of what we grow up knowing as basis for the male character derives from a faulty foundation and erroneous belief systems that have strained the blooming beauty of male-female interactions. I am not going to attempt at discussing in-depth such wrong foundations, but will do so impliedly in the crux of this discourse. My concern here is to simply advance to my male friend what I call the rules of engaging the female. These rules, which are by no means exhaustive but indeed sacrosanct, will do a few things. It will first establish your unshakeable position as a man indeed, give you better understanding of your relationship to the opposite sex, and then finally provoke the best response from the women you relate to.

I have a little nephew who is ten years old, and he has two older brothers. There is a sharp contrast between the older two and this young guy in that he is absolutely without deceit. He doesn’t know how to pretend and neither can he tell a lie. While his brothers conspire on how to con mummy, he simply just pulls out. When discussing with him, he uses few words which are characterized by bluntness and truth. He once spoke out loudly on the dining table “Why doesn’t grandma have teeth, it’s not nice!” as impolite as that was, he spoke his mind and kept on eating. I have learnt something crucial from this ten year old man that every other man should adopt: be yourself! His character has never reduced his value in the eyes of anyone who comes across him; rather, we all have a healthy respect for him. We men put up way too much show and think that the positive responses we get from the opposite sex is dependent on how much theatrics we can stage. Unfortunately most genuine women can read through the ugly story and see through the dark shades, and all we end up looking like is acting through a series of Johnny Bravo. There is true value in simplicity and worth in originality. One false foundation we must knock down is that men must rise to the occasion at all times, and this leaves us scrambling to wear robes that are ill fitted while also making an utter mockery of our maleness. Pretence is absolutely intolerable with women and no other species is an intuitive as females, for they can easily exfoliate your false appendages and deploy their gut feeling in defining you. Except of course such a woman is gullible. I tell you it is much more expensive to maintain who you are not, while it costs you as little nothing to keep your true self alive. Truth be told; who you are, is your most important tool for interfacing with the real world. If you are not yet what you want to be, WORK AT IT! So the first rule here is just to be yourself, as it makes it easier to attract your type.

The second rule here calmness and confidence. Have you seen a fretting man who has lost his confidence? There is nothing as pitiful as that. Calmness and confidence exudes strength that is unspoken and that has a powerful effect on your environment. Growing up as a kid amidst a lot of women I was never calm. I always had something to say and a comment to make all the time to the point that my mouth was extremely watery. You have heard that it is said: “Empty barrels make the most noise.” This is so true in the life of a man, as a woman will find it hard to relate to a noisy man that is devoid of calmness. I have often seen and met guys who talk all the time and use bogus language and curse words, but a closer assessment reveals utter vanity in thought; absolutely no depth.  Every woman wants their man to be calm as this shows control. Not just calmness, but also confidence which is an internal assurance based on knowledge of who you are and where you are going. Confidence makes your countenance to exude an unusual boldness that points to your internal health. A man who is not confident simply shows that the inside is in trouble and his thoughts are not coordinated neither is he in assured of a life direction.

So here is it, confidence is the root, while calmness is the fruit. Confidence produces calmness. When a confident man comes into a place, he doesn’t strive to be heard because he knows his onions. I like the way the Great Book puts it: “…in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength…” (Isaiah 30:15). Somehow, when we see a man who is calm and confident, we associate that person with much power, sometimes more than necessary. This is because some air of mystery surrounds that one and it will take a level of curiosity to open the box. And I cannot say this too much: women are curious. They want to know that their man has something unknown about him. They love it when they step into a place with their man and he remains confident and calm. So this rule says to engage a woman, be calm and confident.

Let’s deal with some substance here. During my Youth Service in Northern part of Nigeria, I had two ladies gist me of their experience in Lagos sometime. They had been introduced to a very handsome young man who appeared to be very calm and confident, and they longed for a discussion with him, perhaps something be allotted to anyone. But on engaging this outwardly handsome, calm and confident young man, his words were like the dropping of a boulder into a calm stream. He had not the appropriate words to engage in a proper conversation and the ladies were condemned to a time of a harrowing rain of oral bombshells and dirty language. They mocked how he sounded and the best way to describe that was a Jamaican born in Ghana, raised in France, but speaking patuá with a Chinese accent. Two things matter as a third rule of engagement: bind and mind your language. The importance of words when relating to the female cannot be overemphasized. When I say bind your language I mean package what you say in a way that becomes pleasing to the ears. I have found in my own experiences that women are also attracted to well spoken men. This is because when you speak well, it speaks well of you, does it sound like an irony? Maybe, but it’s the irony of life how little things give credence to your personality. Yes you were born in the village and raised by an uneducated family, and worse still taught by a misplaced farmer in the classroom. There is always room to up your game. You will have to associate with people who speak like what you want to and listen closely to them. Very soon you will start sounding like them and I tell you it doesn’t take much from you to get this done. I particularly coming from the South Eastern part of Nigeria where we battle with pronouncing ‘y’ and ‘j’, or we swap them from time to time (Yellow becomes Jellow and John become Yohn), had to do some extra work with how I pronounce words. I was endeared to documentaries like those by David Attenborough of the BBC Wild Life series and Dr. Ali Mazrui of the African Historical documentaries. I simulated talking like them and it had a great influence on how I turned out. May I announce to you if you don’t work at it, you will get worse. Some people are reading this and feeling good now that they speak well. Wait till your environment changes and you encounter new friends who challenge you, then you will pick wisdom from this.

On the other hand you must mind your language, meaning that you should scale your words to reflect what you are. God bless your soul if your inside is corrupt, nothing can be done about that until you clean you up. However, if your confidence of your inner beauty is firm, then scale your language to reflect such. You cannot afford to use curse words and dirty language, then think you appear sexy. Many ladies just cannot stand dirty talkers, including the women who use such language themselves. They prefer their man to be of the Polish tribe. These days, they way young men churn out garbage language is amazing and troubling at the same time. I have had so many females mention to me that they the men that talk thrash, neither can they date such. I have sat with some of my men folk and after a discussion I felt internally corrupted due to the choice of language. Man, even when you are angry one key amiable trait you should posses is your ability to have mastery over your words. This rule is never too much to counsel on. Words are like drugs. The can heal the hearer but can also intoxicate as well. This is why Proverbs 25:11 say “Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.”

…to be continued (part 2)

FINDING YOUR GOOD MAN – Part 2

There are certain plants that you could plant anywhere and they will grow. Take the cactus plant and put it in an arid and harsh region, it will grow. Put it in fertile soil it will grow. That’s how it is made. But there are other plants that will simply not grow except they are found in the right environmental conditions. What am I saying? Location is so extremely important that if you are displaced, you may get disgraced (..I like that). In whatever you do, you must strive to be at the right place at the right time. This is something that no one can explain better to you, as I found out that we all know at every point in time where we ought to be and anything other than that is a willful refusal to do the right. Some people are “lonely Londoners” and go solo, yet they expect to meet someone Joke? Location-wise, you are in an island, and will only encounter creeping and creepy creatures. You need to come out of your walled life and interact with people on a regular basis. We were created relational beings and we function maximally that way. Whatever situation you had faced before; because you don’t want to get hurt again, is no good reason to separate from people. You will allow yourself fall into imaginations that warp your thoughts and further deepen the hole of your disenchantments.

Get involved with something and people who believe what you believe. Join a great church, a unit in church, a non-profit organization, a voluntary service organization, or any such groups where you will meet people who have a heart for and believe in something. I have heard people complain that church is the worst place to get involved with someone. But guess what, human go to church not angels. So you will always have to contend with what is peculiar to humans. Clean your mind, get up and strive on, for your time is on the way. Church is comprised of the good, the bad, and the ugly. But the truth is that the good today, were the ugly of yesterday, and the fact that there is the ugly, doesn’t preclude the existence of the good. So get busy doing something beyond going to work, parties and night clubs. You can even start something new if you find nothing. When you find nothing, it is usually an indication that you can start something, so become proactive with your life and be busy doing something interesting with your life. Where you are is vital to who you meet, so get yourself in the right place, especially at the right time.

I made mention of a point above that God created us relational beings. This means that we were created not just to function in relationships and communities, but to initiate and maintain them. For relationships to exist, someone has to initiate one, and for it to continue existing, someone has to maintain it. Women have often shied off when it comes to initiating a relationship with a male. I guess this is culturally bound although these days that is rapidly changing. But I must state clearly here that as a lady, you should never shy away from initiating a good relationship whenever you have a chance to. Many women have seen what they like and never made an attempt at starting a friendship until it became almost impossible to. We have to unlearn all the things that growing up has burdened on us. When we were children, we could talk to anyone at anytime we felt like it and didn’t feel any sense of shame. I tell you truthfully, that is one of your greatest asset as a lady. Put on your childhood again and start making good relationships. You see a guy you like, create the opportunity for a chat, and never feel uncomfortable around him, for that’s when he will have ideas. Your boldness is your loaded weapon, and let’s face it, bold and calm omen are admirable.

Most of us spend time trying to figure out what is in the guy’s head before we think of making a move. And the real truth is that 90% of the time our imaginations are wrong, because people really have a lot on their minds to be thinking about who or what you are you know. By the time we are done analyzing, we would have given ourselves more reasons why not to take a step. Even if nothing amounts from it, you have created one more link in the world and you have further helped in shrinking the human differences, after all nowadays we hear of six degrees of separation. So note here that being shy is not a virtue neither is being silent of any value. I am not saying you go outright and tell a man you want to date him or marry him, but that you be proactive in initiating relationships when you identify a good man. It doesn’t take anything from you except that which you imagine, rather it adds to you what you didn’t have before: one new friend and one step closer to your good man.

Finally, I will share here something my mother gave to me. Not that she said this to me, or wrote it down somewhere, I merely gleaned it from growing up in her protective arms around me. This is crucial, important, vital, and very essential. BE A WOMAN! I will say it again: BE A WOMAN!! And one more time: BE A WOMAN!!! It is just amazing how these days, women are becoming like men in almost everything. While I do not subscribe to the erroneous “what a man can do a woman can do better” philosophy, I still believe that women can do anything they want to and should and can never be restricted. However, I still hold dear to the fact that a woman should be a “woman” in every sense of the word without the cultural approximations. A woman is the other side of a man and makes a man’s adventure complete. For what we don’t have as men, women do and they fill our emptiness and have their peculiar characteristics and nature that defines them as so. Please don’t try to be a man. That is extremely ugly! Cry when you have to, gossip when you have to (ha ha ha), love at all times, smile all the times, and do those positive things that come naturally to a woman.

The world is messing things up and turning it wrong side up. Today women are trying to be what they are not and squaring their shoulders to other men. No man wants to marry another man, even gays want there to be a fair balance between the male and female virtues in their relationship. Somebody has to lead and someone has to follow. Someone has to protect and someone has to be protected. There is the Ying and there is the Yang. Be who God made you to be for therein lies your beauty. Do your thing ladies. Wear your jewelries and your fine make ups, wear the best and don’t regret anything, for you are the wonder of the Most High and He himself appreciates the work of His hands. Look at what God says in Ezekiel 16: 9-14:

Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God.

God loves your beauty and when you show it out He loves it more. Moderation is the key word and a humble spirit is the watchword. So go forth and be a shining example of true inner and outer beauty, and be excited about who you are. This will be the first attraction to many who come your way. You will notice that I have not said anything about the man, but everything here is about the woman. When you have done these things, then your eyes will be clearer and you will understand what no man can teach you, knowing your man when you see him. You were never designed to struggle and strain when it comes to getting your good man. You were designed to attract him your way and then keep and groom him for life. So this is what is most important in finding your good man. It is all about you and what you can offer and less of what you can get. Change the way you think!

Cheers !

Reggie ‘09

FINDING YOUR GOOD MAN – Part 1

A while ago I was burdened by an issue and was hard pressed to write on it. I titled that article “Where are the good men?” because there seems to be a silent question in many hearts these days on why there’s a sudden disappearance of good men. Whether there’s a disappearance or a drastic reduction, either still spells a major concern not just for young women who are at the threshold of making key decisions about a lifelong commitment, but also for those of us who are interested in the social impacts of the family. While I tried to refute the fallacy that pervades society that good men are dwindling in numbers, I also attempted at excavating the origins of a warp consciousness of societal values, because this helps us understand at what point the disconnect happened. If we are going to recover what is lost, we need to know at what point we lost it. I ended on the point that we cannot build our expectations on fallacies that are unprovable, and we cannot allow the negative to guide the ascension of truth in our hearts. In that light I promised to share on how one can find a good man since they not only exist, but abound. Therefore the central thesis of this discourse is that you can find your good man and I offer some advice on this matter (sounds professorial I know….lol)

I risk sounding like a male chauvinist in writing this piece because some would ask what the heck about men anyway. Some have even said to me not all women want a man in their lives, so I shouldn’t make an issue of this because some are satisfied just the way they are. While I cannot but scream “BIG LIE” at that assertion, I also recognize that there are a few women who get offended when we talk about how to find a good man. For whatever reasons they have, they hold their opinions dear and rightfully. So I am not here to challenge that position, neither will I insinuate anything (although I think I already did) because the truth really is out there for all to see. I am also not trying to defend men in any way, because I know some of my kind are wolves in sheep clothing. But I am a man and a good man for that matter, and can’t deny who I am. This mere fact gives me unrestricted access to the internal configuration of the male and what draws us away from our original design. I am not overly qualified, but out of my concern for truth and love, I can speak a little on how to find a good man. I am trying to speak directly to those who are concerned with this issue and to those who care to know. To those who are humble enough to hear another mans’ counsel on this dialogue and learn from another’s experience as well.

First, many book have been written on this subject and in the West, an entire academic field has been developed out of this situation, which has assumed a global dimension. In Singapore for instance, a society that is at the stage of high mass consumption, and for which much of its success lies with a virile female population, there is a growing number of successful women than men. A friend from there once shared with me some of the impacts of this trend in the Singaporean society. For instance, some young men simply become gigolos and live of that because lots of women do not find their type so just settle for sexual satisfaction. I came across a Time Asia Magazine survey quoted by BBC news on Monday, 12 March, 2001 which stated that Women in Singapore were found to be the most forward, with 18% saying they initiate sex. It also stated that Singapore appeared to be the most committed to monogamy, with 67% of men on the island saying they had never been unfaithful. Such issues, like that faced by Singapore, have attracted wide range studies and commentaries with several books churning out from secular and religious circles. Most of the secular writings focus on the problems and a mere description of the issues while offering no solutions. The religious ones go a step ahead in giving bold answers giving tips on how to find the right partner. But in all I find that they miss some vital issues. This is what I lay out forthwith.

So much is being said about how to identify or how to find the right man, but very little is said about how to be the right woman. There is a passivity we carry when it comes to dealing with our troubles. Very few try to put themselves first along the continuum of challenges to be dealt with. But the truth is that you are your first battle! If you cannot win over yourself, then you can never win over any circumstance or battle you may be confronted with. Life is full of a lot of mismatches not only because of a wrong self estimation, but covertly, because of a non self regulation. Many folks out there simply live their lives normally and expect that things will sort themselves out. But it never happens that way. Whatever exceptional thing happening is because someone worked at it, and this applies to relationships as well. The first step in finding your right man is being the right woman yourself. I am one of those who strongly believe that when you have settled on your personality; your access will be easier. Then you will be ushered into a larger room of better understanding of who your partner will be. This way it will be easier to know him when you see him, no matter in what form he appears. A key problem I find is that most ladies know what they want, but cannot tell it when they see it. This is because there is still a hindrance that prevents this. Nothing else describes this better that what Jesus said in Matthew chapter 7.

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Many interpretations can come out of this as we all know, but one truth my eyes were open to was that the reason why you can see a speck in another persons’ eye is because you have a log in yours. So who you are is what determines what you see. So if you correct your internal configuration, you will see correctly. I have heard many ladies say “But I am a good woman Reginald, I have a lot of love to give and I am well mannered.” This is also an indication that you haven’t still got a long way to go with dealing with yourself. When you feel you are most ready, give a second check, you may very well not be. Some years ago, I was having a conversation with God and I was outlining all the things I want to see in a woman. When I presented this list before God, He asked me to take a second look at what I wrote. Then He said all I had written came from the abundance of my heart. Therefore He will give me a woman whom I will impart these wonderful virtues I had mentioned into. This was a wow moment and a perspective changing encounter for me. Now I understand that though I have my desires for a person that suits me, a higher perspective is that this is way beyond me. Beyond what I wanted was what I presented. What I mean is that beyond what I wanted, was what I could give as a person. God told me then that “Reggie, if there is a woman like what you have stated, I will not give her to you! Because she will not need you in her life, she will be complete without blemish and will need no one to complement her.” I was shocked by this response from God. Past what we want, is who we are. God knows when we are ready, we don’t! He knows if we will punish the one He gives to us of if we will be faithful to care for that one. So let’s put our wants aside and rather allow God deal with our person as the first step towards getting the right man.

THIS BABY IS TEN YEARS OLD!

Have you noticed these days that there is a somewhat increasing intelligence in children, and their rate of apprehension seems to be ever expanding in a very complex and diversifying world? True. I have suddenly developed an interest in the developmental stages of children and wonder how their plain and simple minds comprehend and retain information. From age one through age five, you will marvel at what your baby knows already. Even without a deliberate attempt to teach the child, there is a natural desire to learn and to explore and experiment with something new.

In fact nowadays, what we learnt in secondary school a while ago, is being moved down to primary school level, and what our first year classes were like in University, is being passed over to higher secondary teaching. This is simply because more and more information is emerging and the world is getting more complicated. Children nowadays are born into a generation of unrestricted flow of information and a young child is saddled with the ability to do so much more than playing mere police and thief, or the famous hide and seek. The other day I heard of a 13 year old having an associate degree while still in high school.

Things are changing fast, and there’s a growing urgency for the individual to become more open minded and hungry for learning, as this distinguishes between the man living now and the man living in the past. What baffles me however is the fact that despite the rate of change and how people are taking advantage of what is at their disposal globally, some people are dying of lethargy, while others simply refuse to come to terms that things have changed and that many things have become obsolete. I laugh today when I see people carrying maps all around the streets of New York when GPS devices are all about at very cheap prices. You can even load your smart phones now with voice enabled maps that give your real time location and tell you every move that even a blind man can accurately follow. Yet some are stuck in the past.

My interest here is not on how we individually respond to these global changes, but on how Nigeria has responded to the available opportunities these past ten years. May I remind us that this baby is ten years old! This means that a child who was born on the 29^th of May 1999 is exactly ten years of age today, and in the world we exist in today, a ten year old can become totally responsible for his life and choices. While it may not be appropriate to compare Nigeria’s ten years of democracy to the developmental stages of a child, as this is way too simplistic, there are certain background principles we cannot afford to overlook, as it applies to our country. Let me consider a few of the democratic ideals which Nigeria should by now possess.

After ten years of democracy, Nigeria should by now deliver the benefits of the system to its people. Democracy is simply the government of the majority, establishing the will of the people and ensuring the greater good for the greater number of people. This means that whatever the people want is the sovereign and overarching responsibility of the government. In ten years, how much of the desire of Nigerians have been fulfilled by its leaders? Rather, we consistently see a shoving aside of the greater good for the pursuit of personal ambitions. No one deems it necessary to determine and report the state of the country, so Nigerians know what we are up against. There is a silent assumption that anything goes and people will put up with anything that they are confronted with. For instance, why has the government not explained in details to us what happened to 16 Billion dollars or naira (irrespective, it’s still a mouth gaping sum) meant for the power sector in the last eight years? By this time we expect a clearly articulated path towards a recovery of the power sector, but we are still at a point where very few know what’s happening. Nigerians have a right to know, and it is the will of the people that the benefits of this system begin to deliver value. Ten years is way too much time for a baby to crawl and it seems that we still have an attraction to keeping our motion gravitated towards the dust.

Second, accountability is now a buzz word that flies around with no substance in our democratic system. So much talk began with this dispensation, yet we are still harassed by the superfluous display of corruption reborn. It seems public officials are getting more daring in their acts of unaccountability and there is a growing comfort with the fact that nothing can happen to them. We have heard of the many cases of corrupt practices and the many names that have been named, yet how many of such have we celebrated their jail sentences? The very same ones indicted for the otiose bastardization of the vehicles of public utility are gracing the pages of our glossy magazines and shoving on our faces their pin-headed conceptions of the good life. And worse still is that the nature of our corruption has morphed into prebendalism, where government officials now feel a sense of entitlement to the revenues of the Nigerian state.

A bigger problem is that while we are preoccupied addressing these manifest practices at the top of the structure, the base is being wasted away by petty thieves who call themselves councilors and local officials. Even those who exercise some form of bureaucratic discretion at the community level, use that as an occasion to extract profits for their miserable living at the expense of petty services that will make life a little bit more comfortable for their denizens. The baby is ten years old and still grappling with the basics of structural and economic locomotion. What even worries me most is how much effect this has on the ordinary person who tries to survive in the midst of all this. Many now accept corruption as an incurable sickness that one has to live and manage with. The result is that prudence and excellence have been sacrificed on the altar of the convenient, and creativity and innovation have been wacked to the barest minimum in society.

Lastly, we still have not come to the point where we clearly understand what the rights of the Nigerian are. Having a constitutional document with statements mean nothing until it is translated from paper to action. There is still an undervaluation of the Nigerian person, hence when decisions are made; it is without regard for the dignity of the citizens. I heard there was a rebranding of late, and I cared to pry into the nature of the efforts and found that it was devoid of a people centered approach. Rubbing grease on the skin doesn’t guarantee that people will appreciate its beauty. Feeding the stomach however will of necessity manifest on the outer covering, and no one needs to be convinced to see the changes. Whatever our rebranding, if the rights of the Nigerian is not clearly put first, then we risk the make-the-mockery-of-me-joke again. Because I am a Nigerian, I am entitled to a good life and I am entitled to certain basic services like security, and should be free from all forms of harassment, whether by the breakers of the law, the long arm of the law, or by even the law itself. I should be free to enjoy what power my vote carries, and to demand for what my tax can pay for. We all know what these rights are, and it cannot be overemphasized. My point is that at ten years of democracy, our political system is mature enough to accord us these privileges and there is no excuse why it hasn’t at this time.

So while we are in an age where many countries are using the available opportunities and tools to give their citizens a better life and to foster the environment necessary for the burgeoning of a next generation of global interactions, we are still slow to learn and slow to walk. This is so reminiscent of those kids in your class who just couldn’t take anything into their brains. What was left was for their craniums to be cracked open and literally purged of excess puss and infused with all the textbooks. While several countries are unlearning the art of physical or human based warfare, we are still confronted with a case in our Niger-Delta that seems to be a training ground for a guerilla movement. Religious crisis is still driving our peace from us and uncertainty surrounds the state of our ethnic marriage. I sometimes begin to wonder if Nigeria’s case is as “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”

Time is passing by and this baby is slow to grow. But grow it must. I have resolved to do my part and hope it strengthens one part of the whole. I write to discover myself and to hold myself responsible for the things I must do as time goes by. Our country is not a closed case as long as I live, perchance my very loyalty maybe the needed vitamin this baby needs to get up and run as others are. So as I wonder if there’s anything to celebrate, I am suddenly reminded that I am one reason to celebrate why my country will be great. As long as I am determined and open to learning and to improving myself daily, this will translate into the national good I so desire. I will not subscribe to faineance or allow me become hopeless in a time when hope screams out from every corner. But my greatest joy is that there are much more people like me who are greatly impassioned for the Nigerian state and are laying down their lives for the love of it. It is their course I have chosen to follow and in a little while, we will take back our beloved from them that have no dream, vision, mission, and passion. Else, this baby will crawl for the next ten years. But God forbid!